Of Mice, Men and Terrifying Women
by Fiercest
Summary: “But you saved my life!” “I also threw you off a four story building. That’s generally frowned upon in this day and age." On Kushina, Minato and the things that make him fear her.


**Title: **Of Mice, Men and Terrifying Women

**Pairing: **Minato/Kushina

**Warning: **Excessively violent females.

**Note: **I love them. I get the warm fuzzies every time I read about them. I'm also sort of afraid to butcher them with this crap.

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Naruto, Kakashi thinks, is his father's son.

And as such he would very likely be terrified of Kushina.

He remembered the first time he'd ever noticed the difference in his teacher.

It had been at training, Obito was lazing on the grass, clearly without the inclination to actually do anything else and Rin had been giggling beside him.

Minato showed up in a daze, stumbling over his own feet and looking like he'd seen a ghost or ghoul and thin blood trails were dripping down his cheek from claw marks. There were very likely other signs of oddness but at the time he really _didn't_ want to know so looked no further.

The first time he so much as heard the name Uzumaki Kushina his sensei had been crouching behind him at the Ichiraku ramen stand attempting to hide from the strawberry haired terror. He'd fumbled her name out on clumsy lips and tongue and shook in sheer fear.

Because Jiraiya was his teacher and if there was one thing he taught him it was to avoid scary women.

"You look _stupid_." She says in cheerful greeting at the dismally pathetic looking Kage-to-be. To be honest, hiding behind a five-foot nothing twelve year old was really not one of his proudest moments.

Namikaze Minato, suave ladies man that he is, stood up sharply. "Oh there's my contact!" and poked himself in the eye. Tearing, he continued speaking loudly, "What are you doing here Uzumaki-san!?"

Raising an eyebrow Kakashi wasn't entirely sure what was going on but suspected that eventually when he did find out he'd wish he hadn't.

"Ramen! It is the most amazing, delicious, mouth watering thing I've ever tasted!" Luckily the woman who had the whole of home depot loose in her head went off into a mental tangent long enough for Kakashi to elbow his teacher in the stomach and consequently out of his stupor.

And he can't believe that this is one of his most prominent memories of his sensei.

This goofball who was being unwillingly wooed by a woman who terrified him.

It was shameful, ridiculous and all together hilarious.

"You're picking me up at 7."

"I am?"

"You are."

Minato twitches a little. "Nngh!"

"Use your words."

"But you're mean! And you're not giving me a choice here! Frankly, you've always kind of scared me and..."

"And that my dear Hokage-sama is the beginnings of a great love story."

At 6:55 sharp he's ringing her doorbell.

What Kakashi doesn't know and would probably have never understood if he told him was that Kushina made him fall in love with her by throwing him off the top of a building.

When he put it like that though said fearsome Kunoichi usually smacked him or kicked him where the _sun don't shine._

"No need to get all mushy about it."

"But you saved my life!"

"Yeah, well don't make me regret it. It was no big deal or anything."

"_Of course it was!_ You just saved the Hokage from assassination."

"I _also_ threw you off a four story building. That's generally frowned upon in this day and age."

Kakashi also witnessed the moment Kushina found out she was pregnant.

They were screaming at each other actually:

"Yeah well you're a prepubescent little boy with a long, hard and thick pole up your ass! Not that I actually expect you to get that innuendo you big baby!"

"Well at least I'm not some bitchy Hokage wannabe who lost to _Minato_ of all people!"

"H-hey, I resent that."

"Why, you little- gluh."

"Gluh?"

She held up a finger, and not the pointing kind. "Just gimme a sec." She barfed all over Minato's shoes.

"Woah, what are you, pregnant?" Kakashi wrinkled his nose in disgust at the sight.

"Don't even joke about that, it's entirely possible considering I'm a month late."

"WHAT?!"

Of course the present Hokage and famed Yellow Flash chose that exact moment to pass out. If you asked his girlfriend she would have said that his timing had always kind of sucked quite frankly.

He didn't propose.

Not because he didn't want to but because he was pretty damn terrified of an expecting Kunoichi. Amend that to Kushina and you've got him screaming like a little girl.

To Kakashi this was better entertainment than Jiraiya-sensei's books.


End file.
